Godly Endowments
by Zeriku
Summary: It's all about male pride.


Deadpool is awesome guys.

_Note: Warm up story. _This is mostly to check if I can still write.

Disclaimer: Not mine?

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><p>Tsuna thinks he's weird. Because, seriously, what man in their right mind would be so obsessed about the size of... of... his subordinates'... <em>private parts<em>. It wouldn't really make any difference to his life if he knew what their sizes are... right? He tells himself that it's human curiosity, and possibly a hidden column somewhere in the profiling sheet. That is a very sensitive spot, something akin to Achilles' heel when it comes to men, and he reasons to himself that his subordinates are mostly men _so..._ this is him gathering information to better protect them.

He nods to himself, satisfied with his current reasoning. If anymore doubts arise later, he could just chalk it up to Lussuria's gradually increasing number of visits. Tsuna wonders whether every Varia member received what Lussuria called "Lussuria's Life Lessons". The flamboyant Varia member told him that it was mandatory for every mafia boss to know. Tsuna doesn't believe him though. Dino doesn't seem like he had this lesson before.

Or maybe he's just good at hiding things, being Reborn's, the master of stealth, former student.

White with scribbles of black slides toward him, covering the deep mahogany color that is his desk. Tsuna blinks and looks up, caramel eyes meeting a green one.

"Vongola," the person in front of him speaks, nodding slightly.

A smile appears on his face as he replies, "Lambo, good to see you. " _Unharmed"_, he mentally adds. Lambo seems to pick up on it though, averting his eyes on a spot past Tsuna's shoulder as a light shade of pink settles on his cheeks.

"Patrol was uneventful."

"Mmhmmm," Tsuna hums, picking up the paper that Lambo placed on his desk. "You can take a rest now, if there is nothing more...?"

Lambo shakes his head and motions to leave but stops. Looking straight to Tsuna's eyes, he says, "Uhm... bath?"

The brunette stills for a fraction of a second before smiling up at the Thunder Guardian.

"Maybe some other time?"

"Aaa."

Tsuna almost wants to chase after Lambo when the door clicked shut, but he just opts to sigh and sag back in his leather chair. Through the years, Lambo had grown quite nicely into a fine, young lad. Tall, unruly black hair, fair complexion and deep green eyes. Tsuna can count the number of females that stops to stare at his young Thunder Guardian whenever they're out in the streets of Italy. Lambo never looked their way though; he's more enamored with the ice cream and candies displayed on the stores.

That said, while Lambo matured quite nicely physically, that couldn't really be said to his thinking. It's like a five year old stuck on a young man's body, albeit more mellow than most five year olds out there. That's probably one of the reasons why Tsuna dotes on him, agreeing to any requests the young man ask from him. Another reason is that Lambo's requests are anything but ridiculous (unlike Mukuro and his demand for his payment to be some alone-time with Tsuna... in a maid's outfit).

Lambo usually requests a cup of ice cream or a bag of candies for a job well done, which is easy to give. The most he's ever asked is for Tsuna to bathe him. If it had been any of the other guardians (or people), Tsuna would've immediately replied with a stern "No". But it was Lambo who asked, all expectant with both of his eyes open wide and an air of innocence around him. Tsuna remembers pausing, as he usually does, for quite a long time as he tried to process what Lambo said. He remembers Lambo fidgeting, bite his lower lip, and then mutter in Italian what Tsuna translated as some kind of apology. Tsuna stutters a "It's okay!" and then literally dragged the young man to his bathroom.

Now that he looks back to it, Tsuna should've never done that. They may have bathed together when Lambo was but a wee child, and then a few more times when he was around ten or twelve, but not once when he reached thirteen. It was ignorant of Tsuna to assume that _nothing changed _during the two years that passed.

Really, he didn't mean to stare _so much_. Lambo reached over for the soap that time, unknowingly exposing himself to Tsuna's eyes. Tsuna swears that his caramel eyes just followed the water sliding downwards the lithe body of his Thunder Guardian, and that it was obvious that he'd see _it _since, well, it's down _there. _He also swears that he didn't feel any... resentment at the fact that his subordinate, who is ten years _younger_ than him, have a... fairly larger package. Compared to him. A twenty-five year old.

He feels as though an obscure part of his manly pride just died.

A vibration on his thigh snaps him from his thoughts, and Tsuna frantically tries to fish out whatever it is that's vibrating inside his pants pocket. Fingers enclosing on it, he pulls it out and sees that it's his phone. Flipping it open without checking the screen, he says, "Yes?"

Silence, and then, "Uhm."

"Lambo?"

"Tsu- Vongola." Tsuna's eyebrows knit together at that. "I'm sorry if I did anything wrong last time. A-and I'll never ask you agai-"

"Wait just a minute there," Tsuna interrupts. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"But your answer has always been 'no' ever since I asked you that time..."

"That's-" _because I feel conscious about the huge gap in our sizes, thus I really don't want to see yours right now._

Tsuna bangs his forehead against his desk, whimpering. He hears Lambo's worried voice from his phone, repeatedly asking if he's okay. _I'm not, _Tsuna says to himself. Maybe he should ask security to not let Lussuria in more than once a month. The green-haired man's teachings seem to be creeping in slowly into his brain like a parasite. But then again, he's from the _Varia_, assassination group extraordinaire. Security may not be enough; maybe he'll ask Ryohei to keep watch also.

Sitting up straight while rubbing his forehead, he places the device near to his ear again. Clearing his throat, he tells Lambo that he's okay and that he'll talk to him later, not even bothering to hear the young man's reply as he clicks the red button to terminate the call. With a sigh, he stands up and turns to leave, intent on getting some rest to clear his mind of whatever silliness it's trying to cultivate.

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><p>Gosh. Look at all those awkward wordings haha<p> 


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